Keeping Love Alive

Ok, so we're technically still newlyweds, having only been married for 4.5 years. But we HAVE been together for nearly 10 years, so we have to remind ourselves sometimes that just because we're super comfortable with each other doesn't mean we have to be boring!

 How can we keep things interesting when we know everything there is to know about each other? When we're comfortable around each other always, even in our worst moments? When Robby thinks I'm beautiful in sweats with my hair up and no make-up on? Don't get me wrong. I LOVE the fact that I am so comfortable around Robby that I can be 100% myself around him, without having to worry about what he thinks. But if you're not careful you can end up in a slump.

Lately, I've been feeling really, really boring. We're both in school full-time and I feel like all we do is work and study. When we do have some down time, we're both so mentally and physically exhausted that all we want to do is lay on the couch and veg. We could feel ourselves slipping into a rut, and decided to do something about it.

And then it dawned on me. We never really "dated." I was 15 when we met and started "going out" but at the time I was too young to go anywhere with him alone. The most we did at that point was sit together in church. When I was old enough to actually "go out" with him, we were pretty casual. We went to the mall, the movies, shopping, etc. But we never actually dated, where he planned a date and picked me up on a Friday night to take me somewhere. I feel like we just "hung out."

So we came up with this fabulous idea that every two weeks (payday, of course) one of us will plan a real date for the other person. We'll actually shower for each other! (Kidding...about the fact that we don't shower, not the fact that we will) :)

He wanted to go first. He's told me I need to wear something comfortable, and to bring tennis shoes, a bathing suit, sunglasses, and a towel. I think some of it may be just to throw me off, but we'll see. Funny how I'm so excited about such a small thing.

I'll have to post some of our dates here to give others ideas of different things to do to keep things interesting. Stay tuned!

How to cover up your fireplace when not in use

$3,000. That's what they told us it would cost for a new fireplace. When we moved into the house nearly 2 years ago, we didn't want to use the fireplace until it got inspected, which, as we found out, was a wise decision. The news was bad. We need a whole new fireplace. It is completely rusted out and unsafe to use. Oh, and the wonderful news that it will cost $3,000 for a new one. No thanks.

So that left us with a problem. We had one of those metal screens that you put in front of it, but it was still letting the outside air in and the heat/AC out. We racked our brains for a way to "seal" it up without actually sealing it. I don't like the look of a sealed fireplace, and when we're ready to sell, we want to give the new buyers the option of putting a new one in.

Even if your fireplace is working, you may want an attractive way to cover it when it's not in use, other than the traditional screen. So here's what we did:

We found an old window from the Habitat Restore (my new favorite place). They have STACKS of old windows for $5!

The first step was to sand it down and paint it. It was in pretty good shape, with just a few minor nicks and scratches. I didn't do anything with those because I think it gives it character. I toyed with the idea of "roughing up" the paint to give it that antique appearance, but I prefer the clean look for this project.

Be sure to tape off the panes completely

Next, we taped off the window and spray painted the glass with Valspar Frosting paint. Since the inside of our fireplace is rusty and dirty, I wanted to be able to hide that and this is the perfect way to do that.

After that, we took some brackets we bought from Lowe's, spray painted them, and attached them to the bottom of the window so it would stand in front of the fireplace. (Sorry, I don't have any pictures of the brackets).

Here is the end result. I am SO happy with it. I think it actually brightened up the fireplace as a whole and doesn't stick out like the other screen did.

I think we will stick a piece of plywood in front of the fireplace opening to seal it up behind the window as an added measure to prevent heat/AC loss (another good reason to use the frosting paint). But if you're just looking for a screen alternative, this would be a good option for that as well.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

Today, I made our first batch of homemade laundry detergent. I know it may sound strange to some of you, but I honestly don't care. Laundry detergent is expensive, and we are trying to save every little bit that we can. With Robby cutting back to part-time work in the Fall, we have to live frugally.

The cost savings are unbelievable. The initial ingredients only cost around $10, and everything but the soap (which is only about $1.50) will last for several batches. The cost comes out to around a penny a load! The recipe makes 10 gallons (yes, you read that correctly)! I don't think we'll ever run out.

Anyway, for those of you who have asked about it, the first load just came out of the dryer, and I would say it was a success. The clothes smell and look clean, and are very soft. All in all, I'd say it worked better than the store-bought stuff! Also, I've heard it's good for people with sensitive skin. My husband is one of those, so we'll see if it helps with that, too.

If you're concerned about the amount of time and effort it takes to make the detergent, don't be. It took me a total of about 45 minutes (most of that was spent stirring the water and waiting for the soap to melt).

Here's what you'll need:

• Borax
• Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda
• Fels-Naptha Soap Bar
• Essential Oil Drops for Fragrance (Optional...I didn't use it for this batch)
• 5-gallon bucket with lid

You can find all but the bucket at your local grocery store in the laundry aisle. I got my bucket from Lowe's for around $2, but Wal-Mart & Home Depot should have them, too.

Here's what you need to do:

1)  Grate the Fels-Naptha soap bar. I used a cheese grater, but I've also heard you can use a food processor.

2) Put in a pot with 4 cups of hot water. Stir constantly over medium-low heat until all of the soap has melted. There shouldn't be any flakes at all (this is the most time-consuming part). It will be slightly foamy.

3) Fill the 5-gallon bucket halfway with hot water and add the soap mixture.

4) Add 1 cup of Arm & Hammer Washing Soda and 1/2 cup of Borax and stir.

5) Fill the rest of the bucket with hot water until full.

6) Cover and let sit overnight to thicken. I would suggest stirring it a few times periodically while it's thickening so it doesn't get too clumpy.

7) When you open the lid the next day, it should have thickened and gelled slightly. Stir. It will be clumpy, so don't worry about that. Just stir it until you've gotten it into small chunks (this is why I suggested in Step 6 to stir occasionally while it's sitting).

8) Fill an empty laundry detergent container or milk jug (or any other container you wish to use) halfway with the soap mixture. Then add water until it is full.

9) Shake well until all the lumps are gone.

This is just 1/8 of what the batch made!

 To use:

• Be sure to shake the jug to mix up the detergent before each use, as it will thicken and gel.
• For a top loading machine, use 1/2 cup of detergent; for a front loading machine, use 1/4 cup
• I've heard some people say their whites did not come out as bright. I would use Oxyclean or bleach if that happens.

Hope this helps! I know we will be saving a ton of money by doing this!

Until my next DIY project...

A New Endeavor

For a reason I have yet to find out, I woke up in a sad state of mind this morning. I don't know if I'm just overly exhausted from my busy life, or if it was just one of those days that we females tend to have occasionally. You know the ones - when we're sad/irritable/upset for no known reason. All I have to say is, our poor husbands who have to be there for the unexpected mood swings. Luckily for mine, he was downstairs when I felt this dark cloud come on.

I've been contemplating taking up running for the last few weeks. It started with a particularly stressful week. When I had finally reached the end of my rope, I felt this sudden urge to put some tennis shoes on and just run out all of my frustrations (it passed before I got home). You see, I absolutely HATE running. I could do Pilates or Yoga all day long, and can manage to do strength training if I'm forced to. But running? I'd rather die. I've always loathed it, from the time we did the mile runs in P.E. The very few times I've started it as an adult, I've quickly reverted to "fast-paced walking," convincing myself that the results would be the same. I never stuck with that, either. But for some reason, the thought kept creeping back into my mind. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like something that would be really good for me. It would be a way for me to channel all of my negative energy from the stress of life, it would hopefully help to lower my cholesterol (which is borderline high), and I could take Toby with me and help get some of HIS energy out.

Today, I surrendered. I owe it in large part to my mom, who was enthusiastic about it from the beginning. She knows how much I despise running (and she does, too), so I knew if SHE was encouraging me to do it, then I probably should.

Because I'm likely (left to my own devices) to alternate between running for 5 seconds and walking for 2 minutes, I found an app on my phone for the Couch to 5k program. Now, I'm not saying I want to run a 5k or anything. But the app is really helpful because it tells you when to run/walk and for how long. That's for those cheaters like me, who really shouldn't be allowed to answer to themselves. It also helps by starting you out slow and gradually escalates so you can get to your desired level. Still, I was pretty sure I would get tired and cheat by walking most of the time.

So, what's the verdict? I DID stick to the app, and didn't cheat once. It was tough, and while I was doing it I was wondering why. When I got home, I was exhausted. But after about 5 minutes, I felt GREAT. I came back with a cleared mind and a new attitude. I think this just might work. And who knows, maybe one day I will run a 5k.

Over-Commercialized or Romantic?

Today is Valentine's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays because, well, I'll just admit it - I'm a hopeless romantic. I love the fact that my husband and I have been together since I was 15, and that he was the first and only guy I ever truly loved. We have so much history together, and it's amazing to see where life has taken us.

It could also be because it is the anniversary of our engagement. Yes, he proposed on Valentine's Day, and yes, it was perfect. It was a day I will never forget. For the sake of being real, I'll say that marriage has not always been the fantasy I naively thought it would be the day I said "yes." I had concocted this completely unrealistic idea of what being married was like, based on the "happily ever after" we see in fairy tales and Hollywood. But you know what they say: "Love is blind."

While not always the blissful fantasy of my imagination, marriage has exceeded some of my wildest expectations. I have learned more than I ever thought possible over the last 4 years. I love Robby more now than I thought I was capable of, and more than I ever have. I have learned to love and respect my husband unconditionally. I have learned that the "bad" experiences we endure together make us stronger, and behind those difficult circumstances, there is so much love, and that's what pulls us through.

There are plenty of people out there who truly dislike Valentine's Day and all that it entails. I think the majority of those people are the ones who don't have someone to share it with. And honestly, I'd probably hate it if I were them, too. But there are plenty of people who do have someone and think it is overrated and just a way for companies like Hallmark to make a buck. Do I think Valentine's Day is an over-commercialized holiday for companies to make millions on poor saps like me? Yes. But I think it's also a wonderful opportunity to share love with others and to let them know how important they are to us. Why not join in on the fun and embrace it?

A New Year

As I look back over the year, I realize most of the year was very trying and difficult. I know that I still have so much to be thankful for - I'm alive, healthy, and have wonderful family and friends who love me. I know that the things I have been through this year have only made me stronger, but I can't help but look forward to 2012 and hope it will be much better.

Each year I make New Year's Resolutions that I rarely achieve. This year, I have set quite a few goals for myself. This first one is to draw closer to God. I want my walk with Him to grow deeper so that I become more and more like Him. I know that when I do this, all the other things in my life will fall into place.

My next resolution is a lifestyle change. I want to eat healthier and get on a regular exercise schedule. I found out last year that I have high cholesterol, and I've never really done much to bring it down. I've tried "dieting" but get tired and discouraged. I think I need to view it as a lifestyle change and really change my mindset.

Thirdly, I want to create a budget and stick to it. We've created them before, and never really used it for any length of time. At the end of 2012, I want to have followed the budget we created and achieved some of our financial goals.

Lastly, a good amount of stress has been added to my life with both Robby and me going back to school. One of my resolutions is to figure out how to simplify and de-stress my life to better manage the many things I have going on. Also, I want to rid myself and my personal life of unnecessary drama and negativity.

I realize I've set some very high standards for 2012, but I'm determined to move forward and make a change this year. Looking forward to a more positive, stress-free, renewed me this year!

Day of Remembrance, Vegetables, & Fall Weather!

This week started with the anniversary of the September 11th terrorist attacks on our country. A friend posed the following question on his Facebook that really got me thinking: "Why should we 'never forget' September 11th? What does it mean to you to never forget?"

I've been thinking about that a lot since he posted that, and for me, there are a couple of things I think we should "never forget." First of all, I think never forgetting means remembering/honoring the lives of all who lost their lives that day, all the firemen and rescue workers who lost their lives, and all the soldiers who have lost their lives since then. We should also remember all who helped in that catastrophe, and all the soldiers who are still fighting this war. I think we should never forget what happened that day so we will never let it happen again. It gave us an opportunity to raise our awareness and security standards, and I hope we never forget how unprepared we were, so we are never that unprepared again.

On to the rest of the week. A couple of months ago, we planted a vegetable and herb garden. I was SO excited this week when Robby came in and told me we had our first green beans! Soon, we should have corn, zucchini, squash, and cucumbers.

The garden when we first planted it

Our first vegetables:)

This week I also decided that I am going to finish my degree at Limestone. The way my degree is set up at Greenville Tech, the only places I can transfer to and not have to retake a bunch of classes are Southern Wesleyan and Limestone. I really like Southern Wesleyan and it seems to be a great school, but the way their adult studies program is structured just isn't for me. Limestone gives me the flexibility to take only the classes I need and to move at my own pace. So I'll probably start there next Fall. It's nice to have that decision out of the way!

Friday nights we always go to my dad's house for dinner (us, my sister and her family). Last night my dad, me, my sister, and Micah (her 2 year old) were driving to pick up the pizza. I guess "Grandpa" was going too fast, because most of the way he was saying "Wanna slow down." It's really cool to see how well he's learning to talk. He's come such a long way in just a few months.

This week we have been having amazing Fall weather! The highs from now until next Sunday are in the low-to-mid 80s. Have I mentioned how much I love Fall?! Last night after we got home, we got to use the hot tub for the first time this season. I don't know if the weather will stay cool enough for the next couple of weeks to continue using it, but we're enjoying it while it lasts.

I'll end on this note. God has really been working on me lately. He is continuously teaching me the perspective that my circumstances don't need to change - God is using my circumstances to change ME. Instead of asking God to constantly change my circumstances, I need to ask Him to show me what He is trying to teach me through them.

One of my favorite verses helps me remember that, and I thought it might be an encouragement to others as well.

Phillipians 1:6 - "Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Have a great week!